Relationship Advice for Men

Hagai Avisar

Sex in the first date?

In 2017, the online dating site OkCupid published “Why More People Are Having Sex on the First Date”. In it, the article stated that 46 percent of the users on the site would be down for having sex on the first date. If you go by that, it would appear that waiting to have sex on the third date is a thing of the past—at least for some. But should it be?

No matter what your personal views may be when it comes to sex, there are some things that are irrefutable. Things like science.

Take oxytocin. Oxytocin is a hormone that our bodies naturally produce. It has the reputation for being “the love hormone”. Why? Because during kissing, cuddling and of course, intercourse, when oxytocin is released, it automatically makes us feel closer to our partner. It’s not really about if we’re truly in love or even in like with them. It’s a physical chemical reaction that comes with getting close to another human being.

This is why some women, after having a one-night stand with you, they immediately thing they’ve met “the one”, even if they don’t even know your last name. It’s not so much about there being a real emotional connection (necessarily) so much as the oxytocin in the body making them believe that there is something significant transpiring. 

But as a man, your mechanism is different. Some men may come out with the feeling of satisfaction from yet another conquer… 

But what about considering her feelings?.  She will have sex with you voluntarily but keep in mind that the sex for her is the begining of a relationship while for you it might mean the end.

So what does it mean to be wise here?

Clarifying expectations may be helpful and spare you both feelings of hurt, anger and disappointment later.
But most importantly maintain integrity in how you approach sex. Attitude of exploiting for sex will score you some moments of satisfaction but will it elavate your spirit in the long run?

Keeping the values of kindness and consideration will most likely pay-off  for the long run. It is how you end up feeling about your self as a man and it is about your reputation. 

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