Conflicts – why are they so painful?
Have you ever thought what might happen if your love life integrates more wisdom? .
Your love life is a very complex project. As much as it is rewarding, essential and very exciting (at least at the start…) it is also very challenging, confusing and confronting. Yes, very confronting.
Becauses your love life exposes your dependency needs, your helplessness, your fears, your flaws and your powerlessness. In simple words your love life is your ongoing challenge to deal with your vulnerabilities. You want to do it wisely and this is where our mentors can help. We are here to provide you with guidance to find, build and sustain a satisfying relationship.
How do we do that?
- SUPPORT – Wisdom of the Heart.
The first thing you should expect is to feel supported. When your mentor really understands you, the feelings are of acceptance, clarity and relief. You sense connection. You are fully seen and heard with your emotional struggles. Empathy and compassion are our most powerful tools for healing.
You want to build a relationship with a mentor who really knows and truly cares about you. This is why we call it mentoring rather than coaching We are here for the long run, not just to solve one problem. We hope you find a mentor who is going to be there for you as an available resource in times of need. We care, and a caring heart is the engine of what we do here.
- USEFUL INPUT – Wisdom of the mind.
The second thing you should expect from your mentor is helpful input. Here are a few examples:
Perspectives – A mentor will help you see the situation through different eyes. The impact might be that you normalise the situation and feel less shame or guilt, or that you make sense of why your partner acts in certain way, or that you come to see how certain beliefs or expectations get in the way.
Skills building – A mentor may coach you on certain relationship skills such as how to court a partner, how to communicate emotions or needs, how to deal with conflicts constructively, how to maintain your boundaries and more.
Problem solving – if you have a dilemma or tough decision to make your mentor can serve as a sounding board or consultant to help you reach a wise decision.
Challenge – a good mentor is someone that will challenge your beliefs and encourage you to look at how some hidden parts in yourself may stop you from growing.
- PROFESSIONALISM – Wisdom of the hands. Mentors are expected to manage effectively the operational aspects of the video-conference session. That means, to be there on time, to handle the technology well, to be fully present and not distracted by their environment (people, pets, noises), to appear well on your screen (good light, steady camera).
These three service features are in fact the parameters in the feedback form. We regard these features as the hallmarks of an excellent service and they will be our gold standards. Please hold us accountable for these standards:
When our mentors live up to these standards we know that we have accomplished our goal – bringing wisdom to your love life.
And your continuous feedback will keep us on the path to this goal.
About the author:
Guy (Hagai) Avisar is a psychologist with more than 30 years of experience helping people with relationship issues.